If Setting Boundaries Makes You Feel Like a Monster… Read This

Have you ever tried to set a boundary and instantly felt like the villain?

Your heart races.
Your voice shakes.
You second-guess everything.
You replay the moment over and over in your head - wondering if you could’ve said it better, softer, less selfishly.

If that’s you - you’re not broken. You’ve just been conditioned.

In this episode of the Andrea Kay Wellness Podcast, we’re burning the script that says boundaries have to be polite, perfectly worded, and approved by everyone else in the room. Because the truth is - the discomfort you feel isn’t a sign you’re doing it wrong. It’s a sign you’re doing something new.

Why Boundaries Feel So Damn Hard

Most of us weren’t raised to hold boundaries - we were raised to be likable.
To keep the peace.
To avoid making anyone uncomfortable.
To meet needs before they’re even spoken.

So when we start to say “no” or express a limit, our nervous system panics - because we’re going against everything we were taught to do in order to stay safe, accepted, and loved.

And instead of protecting ourselves, we perform.
We over-explain.
We try to soften the blow.
We make ourselves smaller so no one else feels upset.

Here’s the Truth: Boundaries Aren’t Mean. They’re Maintenance.

You don’t need to justify your no.
You don’t need to offer a spreadsheet of your calendar.
You don’t need to convince anyone why your needs matter.

Boundaries aren’t walls - they’re bridges back to your truth. They keep you grounded when your instincts want to people-please. And with practice, they get easier to hold.

Here’s What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✅ Why your body reacts to boundaries like they’re a threat (hello, nervous system)
✅ The real reason you over-explain (spoiler: it’s not a communication issue - it’s a self-worth one)
✅ How to create boundaries that actually feel good in your body
✅ The difference between “performance” and protection
✅ Actionable steps to practice boundaries that feel less like punishment and more like self-respect

Want to Practice Right Now?

💬 Try this journal prompt:
What boundary am I scared to set - and what story am I telling myself about what will happen if I do?

Final Thoughts: You’re Not a Monster. You’re Just Remembering You Matter.

You’re not selfish for having needs.
You’re not mean for saying no.
You’re not “too much” for choosing peace over performance.

Boundary-setting might not feel easy right now. But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It means you’re healing generations of conditioning - and that work? That’s sacred.

🎧 Listen to the full episode:

If Setting Boundaries Makes You Feel Like a Monster… Listen to This

✨ This is Part 1 of a 3-Part Series

If today’s post hit home, you’ll definitely want to stick around.
The next episode in this series drops Thursday, July 18th - and we’ll go even deeper into the beliefs, behaviors, and burnout cycles that keep women stuck.

If you’re ready to stop disappearing inside other people’s needs and start making bold, grounded moves toward your own…

👉 Learn more about The Good Girls Quitters Club — my mini mind for women who are done performing and ready to live fully.

Let’s burn the rulebook together.

This post is based on Episode 9 of the Andrea Kay Wellness Podcast. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.